Hello loves, I hope you're all doing wonderful this day. It's no secret yesterday was Valentine's Day, a day the world has hand-picked to celebrate love through gift giving and good cheer. This day primarily celebrates the eros kind of love which God reserved for a man and a woman to enjoy within the walls of marriage. Eros love simply expresses sexual and romantic attraction between two people. However, the kind of love God dwells and delights in the most is the agape love. I believe He finds great delight in witnessing His own children apply this kind of love daily, through our interactions with others. Due to the supremacy and divinity of the agape love, I also believe it can only be truly demonstrated by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Agape, (Ancient Greek ἀγάπη, agápē) is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity" and "the love of God for man and of man for God". We can thus see that in order for any relationship or marriage to thrive physically, emotionally and spiritually, both partners must agree to demonstrate agape love. Sex becomes undesirable after a while and beauty fades, but agape love thrives in all seasons. It’s the selfless, unconditional type of love that helps people to forgive, to respect and to serve one another, day in and day out (imom.com).
In this blog post, I will share with you all a time in my life where I misunderstood the love God so purposefully gave unto me to find rest in. Growing up, I always believed I was a beautiful girl because that was what I was told. Back in Ghana, I had a lot of friends in school and most boys found me attractive. However, after my move to the U.S. back in January of 2006, everything changed. I was the "African girl", the "darkest" girl in class and the girl who was often times teased and bullied. I remember being eleven years old in the sixth grade, wishing I was of Spanish descent just so I would be fair skinned and more importantly, accepted. Fast-forwarding to my senior year in high school, my insecurities slowly began to disappear because boys started to find me attractive again. In a way, the attention I received from the opposite sex validated my worth and self-image. It was as if although I was semi-comfortable with who I was, their attention and attraction to me added on to that validation. It wasn't until a few years later that I learned that it was never truly about my beauty, but the devil's desire to disrupt my destiny. Men were simply agents assigned to me to lead me away from God's best for my life. God's best radiates into areas such as our ministries, education, career, marriages, parenthood, as well as our overall purpose on this earth. Now looking back, I see a pattern in the kind of men that always sought after me.
The battle against my destiny began when I was in the twelfth grade and continued into college. Truthfully speaking, relationships can be a huge distraction, especially the wrong ones. No wonder Apostle Paul encouraged us to refrain from marriage but allowed it only because most of us lack true self control (1 Corinthians 7:7-9). They mostly distract us from fulfilling our God-given mandate and assignment. Just because every guy finds you attractive doesn't mean you are the most beautiful girl in the world, and vice versa. Sometimes, it's simply because the spirit of Jezebel has taken root or that the enemy has placed a demand for your destiny. He will stop at nothing to destroy it because according to John 10:10, he is a thief, a murderer and the destroyer of all things good. Believe you me, spiritual things still exist. Almost every guy I encountered from the age of seventeen never led me to Christ, but further away. And anything or anyone that feeds our flesh and leads us away from Christ, is of the devil. Which relationship have you been entertaining that God has specifically told you to let go of? Are you being forced to fornicate every night or he or she will leave? My dear, fulfilling your destiny is worth far more than any relationship not cosigned by God. Decide today to break ties with anything that aims to limit you.
There was once a "situationship" I entangled myself in when I was just twenty years old. Mind you, this was before I received the gift of salvation so during this period I was lost. He was a few years older than me and lived in another state. See how God protects us even before we know to ask for protection? We were more so "talking" and everything seemed fine at first. However, because the center of it was not Christ, it slowly began to fizzle out. I remember times where he would disappear and not speak to me for days, even weeks. He would also do things to upset me but the minute we spoke, it was as though I had no recollection of the pain he ever caused. I realized the more he did to bring me affliction, the more I wanted him. The more I wanted to stay in the "situationship". It wasn't until I received the gift of salvation that I realized I was in bondage and didn't even know it. It's not cute , or better yet, love to want to stay when mistreated. That is not love. My dear, that is a spiritual stronghold keeping you bonded to that man or woman. When sex also comes into the picture (which was not the case in mine by God's grace), the bondage only grows stronger. It was simply by the grace of God I found myself out but unfortunately, many never do.
Today, I thank God I have evolved since those days of insecurity and bondage. My joy, confidence and delight are all derived from Christ because it's only through Him that I have been freely vindicated. No longer do I have to compete, lie or cheat others for love, for God has given me the greatest LOVE of all. Another thing is, I always tell God that I don't want an ordinary marriage and neither should you. A marriage according to the world's standard? No thank you. I desire to become a wife to a man who knows GOD and his purpose on this earth. I then find joy in playing an amazing role, similar to that of the Holy Spirit's, by working hand-in-hand as a help-meet to my husband, so as to see the manifestation of God's word to us. The goal is to manifest God's kingdom on this earth together. I don't know where you are individually, whether single, courting or even married but there's a "God's best" for you. Do not settle in this season. I repeat, do not settle. Even as we wait for the manifestation of our individual marriages, I want us to continue to seek after the agape love God so desires we walk in on this earth. Demonstrating the agape love causes us to die to ourselves, thus allowing the Spirit of God to live more consistently through us. In our various ways, let's sow love that we may reap it. If you also read this and find yourself in the bondage of sex, lust, masturbation and/or a toxic relationship, I pray that the grace and POWER of God sees you out in Jesus name. Seek wise council, but most importantly, seek the face of God. May God bless each of you for reading, remain blessed!
Scriptures:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." ~ Matthew 6:33
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." ~ John 15:13
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." ~ Romans 15:13
"If ye love me, keep my commandments." ~ John 14:15
Love,
Elsie Abena Addo