Modesty
/mädəstē/ - a. behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency. b. a mode of dress and deportment which intends to avoid the encouraging of sexual attraction in others. c. the quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities
The topic of modesty is one that stirs up immediate controversy among believers in the Christendom. From rebukes and personal beliefs about make-up, to the latest fashion trends and hairstyles, we're left more divided than united. Unfortunately, societal misconceptions on biblical modesty only seem to intensify the fire already brewing. Modesty has less to do with placing a limitation on the freedom of a woman, and more to do with honoring God. Although an extremely delicate and perilous matter to discuss, I find that many Christians, like myself, still lack the primitive insight we need to guide our external lives. In my perspective, modesty begins with an inward work by the Holy Spirit, as it involves elements far beyond our choice of clothing. Once we believe and surrender to our Lord Jesus Christ, yield our bodies to Him as a holy dwelling for His Spirit, then He begins the transformative work we so desperately need. Modesty cannot be forced, neither can it be taught without the power of the Holy Spirit. Now don't tune me out just yet, as I do believe modesty must be pursued by every believer. Nevertheless, the grace to do so comes only from the Holy Spirit and likewise, depends on our relationship with Him. As believers, our primary focus should always be to glorify God in every area of our lives; including our appearance. So the attitude should then be, how do I honor God in my appearance? And to the Holy Spirit, what does modesty look like in my life? Personally, I also believe modesty is relative, but that in no way excuses alluring and sexually-motivated dressing (in and out of the church). We have been called and set apart by Christ Himself, not to resemble, conform or assimilate into worldliness. Even so, this post is in no way meant to incite condemnation, but rather conviction and teaching by the Spirit of God. In the end, I pray this blog only leads our hearts closer to God, who will then expand our desire and knowledge on the topic at hand.
The idea of modesty only recently captivated me, and became something I decided to seriously pursue. I am the first to say that I am among one of the worst sinners alive; which I hope will denounce any notions of perfection you may feel I possess. To help you better understand, I came into the faith in November of 2014. One of my favorite things to do while in the world was to go clubbing. I saw it as an opportunity to dress provocatively, delight in self and draw all eyes to me. Ladies, have you ever gloried in the feeling of being the "it" girl in a room? Rejoicing in the power of having every guy drool and lust after you, even as feelings of jealousy and envy are ignited in the heart of every girl around you. All attention is immediately taken away from God (spirit) and given to man (flesh). Yet, in Isaiah 42 verse 8 it says, "I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not yield my glory to another or my praise to idols." Back then, I delighted in my own glory; as I saw no fault in exposing my body and using my power as a woman to get what I felt I needed. Months after salvation, I still had no understanding or true conviction about my appearance. My dressing to church changed slightly, but that was it. It wasn't until October of 2017, that the Lord placed in my heart a yearning for scripture. I began reading the Word more and more, which gave the Holy Spirit room to circumcise my heart. Although falling back into sin many times since then, the grace and mercy of God never seems to lose its grip of me. My most recent encounter with modesty came during my period of consecration this past July. Through fasting and prayer, the Lord led me to become more aware and conscious of what I decided to put on my body. I was taught by God to adorn my spirit, which is eternal, a whole lot more than my physical body. As the bride of Christ, I believe even as we are being made pure in heart by the Holy Spirit, yielding ourselves to outward purification must also ensue.
Another aspect that modesty boils down to is determining what our hearts are full of. Does your worth come from Christ or your possession of the latest beauty product? Do we place more emphasis on treating our bodies, which is dying by the day, or on living out the authentic Word of God? Becoming more like Christ in character, speech and conduct should be every believers primary focus; mine included. Whenever we enter a room, now filled with the Holy Spirit, HE is who must be seen through us (John 3:30).
Now let's look at a few scriptures in the bible on modesty:
A. 1 Timothy 2:9-10, "Women should adorn themselves modestly and appropriately and sensibly in seemly apparel, not with elaborate hair arrangement or gold or pearls or expensive clothing, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”
B. 1 Peter 3:3-4, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. It should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”
C. 1 Peter 5:5, “Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble"
Based on the above scriptures, the word adorn is to make more beautiful or attractive. As believers, there's nothing wrong with wanting to dress the body, but the beautification of our inner self is of more worth and relevance to God. The beauty Christ desires we display, must not come from our elaborate hairstyles or expensive jewelry and clothing, but rather from a gentle and quiet spirit. 1 Peter 5:5 encourages us to put on the garment of humility, and I'll also add love, patience and every other fruit of the Spirit each day (Gal. 5). In other words, our devotion to growing in the spirit should triumph the embellishing of our bodies (flesh). Genuinely assessing the amount of time we give to adorning our flesh, compared to time in God's word, prayer and fasting, is certainly a start. As representatives of God on this earth, Christ should be at the forefront of every encounter we have with people. They must remember the Christ we displayed, more than our hairstyle or fashion accessory. Thankfully, we have a perfect example in Christ Jesus, as His work, power and obedience to the cross spoke more about Him than His physical appearance ever could.
In summary, the goal of modesty is to honor God with our lives and body. We were bought with the blood of Jesus Christ, and must no longer live for ourselves, but for Him who saved us (Gal. 2:20). In a world pushing forth one agenda, one contrary to the Word of God, it is those whose hearts are fully surrendered that'll come to know and walk in God's truth. I must agree it's not always easy, but God wants our whole lives; not half. I pray again that the Lord will give us all clarity on this matter, even as He releases fresh grace on our individual roads to modesty.
Check out the next post --> Modesty: General Tips
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"for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." - 1 Peter 1:16
"Modesty isn't about covering up our bodies because they are bad, modesty isn't about hiding ourselves, it's about revealing our dignity" - Jessica Rey